Relationships  

What my husband REALLY thinks of my weight gain.

April 1, 2021

I share my “reverse transformation” photos often. Maybe you’ve seen them? The before is me hovering somewhere between a size 4 and 8, and the after is me now as a size 16/18. Kind of like this: I am a masterpiece. I am a masterpiece as a size 4. I am a masterpiece as a […]

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I'm allison!

I am a 30-something mom, wife, author, encourager, and bikini lover. I also just so happen to be a happy and confident size 18/20! 

hello,

I share my “reverse transformation” photos often. Maybe you’ve seen them? The before is me hovering somewhere between a size 4 and 8, and the after is me now as a size 16/18. Kind of like this:

I am a masterpiece. I am a masterpiece as a size 4. I am a masterpiece as a size 18. I am a masterpiece because of who I am, not in spite of it. And while it took me 2 decades to make this realization, it wasn’t my body that had to change, it was my mind. The truth is: it never really was about my body…it was my desire to be loved and accepted by everyone. . Our bodies are ever changing, as you can see from my own body changes in the last 10 years. And you know what? My body WILL change again. I’ve learned that fixating my worth on controlling my body to stay constant with society’s expectations when it is meant to fluctuate with every season in MY life is a ridiculous waste of energy. Because at the end of the day: I am still the same person no matter what my pants say on the tag, how many rolls, dimples or wrinkles I have, or even how able my body is. . It’s important to note that I am not happier now BECAUSE I am a bigger size, I am filled with joy because I have made peace with this body no matter what size, shape or condition it is, now or in the future. . And I live my life now with a softness, kindness and light that shows people who I am even before they see me or what I do. I live my life on an assignment to bring this same awakening and newness to others instead of living to please the doubters. . I invite you to see yourself the way I see you: as a masterpiece. If you’ll join in, could you comment “I am a masterpiece” below?! Just do you babes! Xoxo Allie

A post shared by ALLIE (@allisonkimmey) on May 1, 2018 at 11:31am PDT  

https://www.instagram.com/p/BiSF_wanifB/

One question I get often, and have never addressed, is how my partner feels about my transformation. And I haven’t responded yet, because, well…I don’t think I am the best person to answer that.

He is. So without further ado, here is his response:

I love my wife, I really do. Well at least I thought I did, until she fell in love with herself and gained some weight. What happened next is something I didn’t even realize was possible – I FELL EVEN MORE IN LOVE WITH HER! More in love with her than I’ve ever been and it continues to grow with each new day. When she asked me to do this post, I didn’t really know how to approach it. I decided to make a list, from a husband’s perspective, of the pros and cons about this new found relationship with my voluptuously beautiful woman, Allison. Hopefully these details will shed some light on the life shaking benefits of self love and holistic wellness, while also encouraging couples, husbands and wives to step outside their comfort zone and embrace living life to its fullest and loving without end – especially YOURSELF. So here it goes:
PROS
  • Her with all those curves, and me with no brakes! The self love glow is enough to make your head spin in all the right ways!
  • Our love life is deeper and more sensual than it’s ever been. Confidence is truly sexy!
  • Date nights are the bomb! Seeing her get excited about dressing up reminds me of our teenage dating days!
  • I love seeing her in all these new swimsuits and outfits – who doesn’t love looking at their woman in a BIKINI?!!?! Or in a new dress?!!? VA VA VOOM!
  • She’s truly HAPPY – as the rock of our family, this leads to a positive home environment and a lot of smiles/dancing/laughter in the household. We rarely have a bad day.
  • She’s found herself and her passion – as a leader and parent, I could not ask for a better role model and mother for our daughter and son.
  • Her “just do you” attitude and outlook has led me to embrace my body as well for what it is.
  • She doesn’t cook much or very well, haha – but it’s always made with love, and natural ingredients that make us feel good.
  • We talk more – we hug more – we kiss more – we spend more time together – not because we have to, because we want to!
  • Less focus on worrying about others, diets, scales and the pressures of society has led to more time spent in deep thought provoking and purposeful conversation about life and love.
  • She motivates and inspires me – to exercise, to live and love, to get closer to God, to be a better parent and coach – a passionate woman on fire for God, herself and her family CANNOT BE STOPPED.

CONS

  • I’m getting carpal tunnel from taking so many pictures of her – please send help.
I want you to know – this is as genuine of a list as they come. Nothing in this list is over-exaggerated or embellished. These are straight facts that I felt necessary to share in hopes that someone reading this will understand the profoundly positive effect my wife’s self love journey has had on me – her husband. Make the choice now to start your journey – and husbands, be prepared for a life changing experience as well – one that will help you grow as a couple and as individuals. My wife will always be there for support as you progress in your journey – use her as your guide and as my wonderful wife would say – “Just Do You”!

Ted

I asked my husband if he would contribute to my blog and answer that one question. I had no idea what he would write. This is what a partnership looks like. This is what being valued looks like. This is what loving looks like. This is what growing together looks like. This is what respect looks like.

He doesn’t love me despite of my size, or even because of my size…he simply loves me, for doing me.

I get messages from women ALL THE TIME telling me that their husbands or significant others compliment them and they just can’t take them seriously. Please don’t underestimate the power of love. You are worthy of the love and respect you so freely give to others. Give yourself the opportunity to receive it.

I also receive messages from women that are having a difficult time helping their husbands understand their journey to loving themselves. They probably won’t. My husband learned these things about me through observations of my actions. That is why it is so important to not only think about embracing yourself, and following others that do, but also TAKING action and living a life in pursuit of embracing yourself. When you go all in on something, the people around you will either course correct to be on the same page with you, or their true colors will shine and show you that you are blooming while they are remaining the same. Don’t let your partners misunderstanding discourage you from becoming the absolute VERY BEST version of yourself.

And for my single ladies out there, never settle. Your worth is not dependent on your size or how many “socially acceptably beautiful” boxes you can tick off. The most important thing that you can do is start loving YOU. When you are at peace with your own self you will absolutely attract the type of love that was meant for you.

Just do you babes! Always and forever

xoxo

Allie

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I'm Allie!

 I also just so happen to be a happy and confident size 18/20 and I have spent the last 5 years sharing my self love and body positivity with the internet!

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