So happy to be back to chat with you today. I wanted to put a spotlight on the biggest lie you are probably telling yourself right now. I only know about this lie because I used to tell it to myself every day of my life. It goes something along the lines of:
I could never do what she does
I don’t know how to do that
I can’t pull that off
It just wasn’t meant to be
All of these lies do two things: they make an idol out of someone or something else and they tell the story: I am not worthy.
It does for me. I went through my entire school career seeing others as separate from me, and completely unattainable because I always looked at what I lacked versus what they had. I saw the discrepancy as SO BIG that I could never be able to achieve what they had – whether it be a body type, fashion sense, grades, money, lifestyle, parenting skills, outlook, etc.
When we make an idol out of someone else, we are distinguishing them as something different than us. Something so much better that they (or it) are untouchable.
For example, I used to idolize this one girl in college that always wore the cutest clothes, had the most friends, and just exuded beauty, something I thought I could never fully achieve….only to find out later that she had less self esteem than I ever have.
I used to idolize bikinis, I thought they were always something that I would never be able to wear because my body was too fat.
I used to idolize entrepreneurs that made more of an impact and more money than me, thinking that my problem must just be that I was uninteresting, or had a personal block against money, or was not worth what I was trying to make and that I needed to just do something that I wasn’t really happy doing.
I used to idolize people that had more knowledge than me, believing that I could never have a conviction in my beliefs like they did.
I lived these lies out as I played small for decades. Trying to slide under the radar, and holding myself back from being too successful for fear that I would fail so hard because I wasn’t good enough.
And the truth of the matter is, some of you may even idolize me. In a post I made today, I shared all of my size information and other details about my body and appearance: “The point of sharing all that is really to say that despite ALL OF THAT INFORMATION – none of it actually really matters.
I learned that I was no different, or more valuable as a size 2/4 as I am now as a size 18/20. I learned that I was no more sexy with uneven saggy breasts as I am now with fuller proportioned breasts bc my conviction in my self worth and my confidence when I own my body are what makes me attractive to ME.
And in the end – your body, your rules. You get to decide how you’re going to see it, with love or with hate. ”
You see, feeling unworthy is not jut a physical issue. It doesn’t just affect what you wear or don’t wear. It doesn’t just affect how you see parts of your body as unattractive.
It affects your relationships with loved ones, friends, and strangers. It affects how valuable you see yourself. It affects how much money you make. It affects how many opportunities you pursue. It affects how many photos you take with your children. It affects how many nice things you do for yourself. It affects how many times you will tell yourself no.
It affects how you show up to the world.
So today, I challenge you to identify that lie that is present in your life. What are you telling yourself, that you know in the back of your mind, and in the pit of your stomach, and with the ache of your heart isn’t really true.
What are you making an idol out of? What things or people in your life are taking precedence over your own magic? Who are you allowing to steal your shine? What story are you telling yourself about never being able to measure up?
We all have one. And it’s at the root of why we can’t seem to love ourselves or make that career jump we’ve always dreamed about it. It’s why we can’t get intimate with our husbands without covering our bellies, and why we never put ourselves out there to try new things.
That lie is stealing your joy. So it’s time to take the power back.
Once you’ve identified it, I want you to come up with every possible reason why that is NOT true. Because it is not.
Write them all down. See the areas it has taken over your. See the ways it’s shaped your decisions. Call it out on it’s bullshit, and then rewrite it.
You can’t ignore these lies. They have spent many years taking up more and more valuable space in your brain (on your shoulder and in your ear too). But we can begin to unpack them. Strip them of their value. Take away the idols and put ourselves back in the leading role of our own lives.
Lastly, rewrite that lie into a truth. Every day. Every morning when you wake up. Every time you have a thought, speak it out and let it be your new mantra.
Because you’ve wasted too much time believing that you weren’t worthy of everything you ever desired.
It’s time to just do you.
If this spoke to you, I would love to hear you share your lies in the comments!