“How much do you weigh?”
The nurse asked me as she filled in my chart.
This is what I was afraid of. Honestly. I am admitting to you that I fear going to the doctor because I do not want to be forced to weigh myself – and consequently deal with the assumptions about my health because of that number. I am extremely intentional about cultivating an environment that removes triggers from my life – weighing myself being a MAJOR trigger. I had been fighting going to the Dr for my cold these last 3 weeks for this reason. My husband practically kicked me out the door to go, but I put my big girl panties on…And here I was, right in the moment I was fearing.
“I’m not sure, haven’t weighed myself in years”
“Okay, Do you want to get on the scale?”
Let me stop here and say wow, she asked ME if I would like to. She gave me choice over my own body. I was stunned. I immediately felt at ease and the fear melted away.
“Okay, no problem, how about a guesstimate just for your records?”
“Sure, let’s say 240lbs”
And she wrote it down and we moved on.
I ended that excursion with a shot in this sweet peach of mine and I’m feeling human again. And I am well on my way to overcoming my fear of the doctor.
I know not every experience will be this positive, especially existing happily in a plus size body where my health is always a question just by looking at me…but I have been given hope and strength to put my health and my needs above the opinions of others.
And I want to encourage you to do the same. Because I recognized that my fear of going was only a fear of being judged. And well, that’s not something I’m allowing myself to carry anymore.
So I’m curious: What have been your experiences at the dr? I know this is a huge source of anxiety/pain for many plus women or any person that’s struggled with body image or eating disorders etc
Just do you babes!